“I am my own worst critic.” How many times have you thought or said that sentence? Probably countless times, if you are a quintessential artist, writer, musician or other person striving to create something meaningful or memorable. If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit the tendency to be critical of our own work is what drives us. Without that constant process of evaluation, we would not be able to function and the quality of our work would not improve over time.

But too much of a good thing can be . . . well, too much. Our own critical assessment of our work can run amuck to the point that it paralyzes us, completing derailing the creative process.

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No one is immune from the impact of America’s current economic crisis.

Last night I enjoyed dinner and conversation with a group of long-time friends. We decided to enjoy Chinese food from our favorite take-out restaurant, Chop Chop, a Lodi Avenue fixture for more than 40 years. We gathered at the home of one friend who joined the growing ranks of the unemployed when she was laid off a couple of weeks before Christmas. She has a fabulous attitude and we are all confident she will soon secure a position, but in the meantime, she is under a good deal of stress. Shortly after losing her job, she was involved in a motor vehicle accident. Thankfully, she was not hurt. She did not cause the crash, but she is understandably uneasy at the prospect of her insurance company deciding to “total” her car because she would likely have a hard time securing a replacement vehicle while unemployed. Fortunately, her parents have assured her that they will assist in any way possible.

One couple is wondering what will happen in February or March.  Although they are both employed full-time by different school districts, both are fearful that they will receive I.O.U.’s rather than paychecks. Hopefully, at least one of them will be paid in a timely manner.

Last week, I had breakfast with another group of “girlfriends” with whom I grew up here in Lodi, one of whom now resides in Arizona. Her husband’s efforts to secure employment have proven futile and she is struggling to support their family with the income from her home-based business. However, business has been extremely slow. She and her family were only able to travel to Lodi for a holiday visit because of the generosity of her parents. However, her father has advised her, as well as her siblings, that additional financial assistance will not be forthcoming from her parents who have seen their income drop as a result of losses on investments that were designed to carry them through a comfortable retirement.

None of my friends ever thought that, at this point in their lives, they would find themselves turning to their parents for financial help.

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1. What do you believe happens when we die?

Life never ends, although its form changes. I believe that death is the moment when we cross over to the next plane of existence.  That place might be heaven, but I don’t know where or exactly what it is. I’ve had some really intriguing conversations with friends about what heaven might be like and how we will recognize each other there. One friend suggested that we will all be 33 years old there because that’s how old Jesus was when he was crucified.  Another thinks we will be the age that we were the happiest while on earth. Of course, we all agreed that the concept of age is probably not going to have meaning there, at least not in the sense we think of it in relationship to our earthly existence.

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Describe a New Year’s where you would have been better off just staying home.

Happy New Year from the great central valley of California where the weather is typical for this day of the year:  Cold, overcast, dreary. The forecast for tonight? Dense fog. Visibility will drop to less than a tenth of a mile in some spots. It is not unusual to wake up on New Year’s Day and be unable to see the houses across the street.

Since BigBob and I both grew up in San Joaquin County, we have never been enthusiastic about going out to celebrate the arrival of the New Year. On this night, there is usually at least one serious vehicle collision in the area caused by a combination of drinking and driving too fast for the road conditions.

In addition, BigBob never stays up until midnight.  He is usually asleep before we turn on the television to watch the ball drop in Times Square at 9:00 p.m. Pacific time.  In a perfect world, I would stay up until three or four in the morning and sleep late every day.  BigBob is the guy who wakes the rooster up to tell him it is time to crow and get the rest of the world moving.

I can only remember a couple of New Year’s Eves in the past 23 years that we have actually gone out to celebrate. Generally, we stay home where we enjoy a nice dinner and then watch movies or play games while enjoying a crackling fire.  That way, we all stay safe and he can nod off whenever he likes. There have been many, many times when the boys and I have wished each other a Happy New Year with the sound of his snoring as a backdrop!

But there was New Year’s Eve 1987.

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#1Son in 1990 with the first nutcracker in his collection.

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“The riders in a race do not stop when they reach the goal. There is a little finishing canter before coming to a standstill. There is time to hear the kind voices of friends and say to oneself, ‘The work is done.’”

~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. ~~

Octamom asked:

Is your tree still up? Or does it make you itch to still have elves on the mantle and ornaments on the greenery? What is your tradition for taking it all down? Day after Christmas? The day of New Year’s? Easter? When do you put all the magic back in the Rubbermaids?

When it comes to decorating for Christmas, we are failures. Having all the extra clutter sitting around the house makes me a bit crazy. I own a lot of ornaments — boxes of them — not to mention nativity scenes, a large village, electronic Santas, angels, and carolers, lawn decorations, etc. But in recent years, most of the decorations have remained packed away.

Why?

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Many bloggers routinely publish end-of-the-year wrap-ups, directing readers to re-read what they consider to be their best work of the year, or give readers a second chance to experience a post or two that they missed when they were originally published.

Since I am completing my second year as a member of the team, I spent some time considering my 2008 contributions to Write Anything and devised Writeapalooza 2008, a selection of what I consider to be my best writing published here in 2008:

• What’s In Your Closet?
• What is Your Legacy?
• Signs of the Times
• A Unique Legal Theory Serves as a Reminder to Blog Responsibly
• Connected Lives (A Six-Part Series)
• Your Online Writing Life: Protect Your Reputation - and Future (A Six-Part Series)

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“The loss of a place isn’t really so different from the loss of a person. Both disappear without permission, leaving the self diminished, in need of testimony and evidence.” (Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo)

In The Power of Place, published on September 3, 2008, Becca challenged her readers to “write about a place you’ve lost . . .” Her words invaded my consciousness last night.

Bacon, eggs, lefse, and coffee. Christmas morning breakfast was delicious, courtesy of BigBob. The fire is roaring, the tree is lit, and the boys will finish opening their presents in a little while. One is still sleeping because he stayed up very late with me last night. Among other things, we watched “Mamma Mia!”  The other is enthralled with his new Wii games.

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#1Son was three years old when I took him to see an animated version of The Nutcracker.  He loved it and also enjoyed having the story read to him at night.  While shopping, we happened upon some cute, traditional-looking nutcrackers, so we bought him one.  Little did we know what we started.

This is just a small sample of the collection of nutcrackers he has amassed in the ensuing 18 years:

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